would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
