I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
