I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
