I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
