somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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