um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
