We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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