No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize