meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
