We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
