we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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