Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
