When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i think i just lost a toe
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize