all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
