i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
