O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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