well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
