just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
