Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
