i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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