Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
