She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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