I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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