can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
we're so committed to being not committed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
