3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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