You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He shit in the fireplace
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
