Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
