We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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