i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
