Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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