Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
