Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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