It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
