Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
