I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize