So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
