dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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