i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
