My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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