So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
