She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
