omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she pinky promised me she was 18
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
