One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize