I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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