Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
