FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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