I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
