I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
