you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
