Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
