god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
