Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
