Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
