if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
