I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We're too hungover to prance.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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