4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
