You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
