areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
