sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
