dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
