guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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