The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
