Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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