I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
