My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You ate ashes out of my bong
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
